Train Horn So Loud It Retroactively Woke Up Residents Who Were Already Awake

A train horn sounded at the Maple Street grade crossing in Cedar Falls, Iowa, at 3:14 a.m. Saturday was measured at 152 decibels — loud enough, residents claim, to have retroactively disrupted their sleep even before it occurred.

'I woke up at 3:12,' said resident Dale Crosstie, who lives 200 feet from the crossing. 'Two minutes before the horn. My body knew it was coming. After 30 years of living next to these tracks, my nervous system has developed precognitive capabilities specifically calibrated to Union Pacific horn patterns.'

The horn blast, produced by a five-chime Nathan AirChime K5LA mounted on a westbound manifest freight, exceeded federal minimum requirements by approximately 42 decibels. The engineer, reached for comment, described the blast as 'standard procedure for an unprotected crossing,' though he conceded that 'standard procedure for this particular horn is equivalent to a small thunderclap.'

The Federal Railroad Administration requires locomotive horns to sound at between 96 and 110 decibels at 100 feet. The K5LA, when operated at full pressure, produces significantly more.

'The K5LA is the Stradivarius of train horns,' said horn enthusiast and acoustics hobbyist Marco Decibel. 'Five bells, each tuned to a different frequency, producing a chord that can be heard from three miles away. It's magnificent. It's also the reason the entire east side of Cedar Falls takes Ambien.'

The city council has discussed establishing a quiet zone at the Maple Street crossing, which would replace horn blasts with supplementary safety measures. Residents are divided. 'I want sleep,' said one homeowner. 'But I'd miss the horn,' said another. 'It's been my alarm clock for 22 years. I don't know who I am without it.'