Marina Liveaboard Declares Self 'Off the Grid' Despite Being Plugged Into Shore Power and Marina Wi-Fi
The 42-foot catamaran resident insists his lifestyle is 'completely independent' while running three space heaters and streaming Netflix.

Marina liveaboard Jasper Mooring, who resides full-time on a 42-foot catamaran in Slip 47 at Bayview Marina, has declared himself 'completely off the grid' despite being connected to 50-amp shore power, municipal water, cable television, and the marina's premium Wi-Fi package.
'I've rejected the conventional lifestyle,' said Mooring from his salon, where two space heaters, a full-size refrigerator, a dishwasher, and a gaming PC drew approximately 4,800 watts from the dock pedestal. 'I answer to no one. I live by the tides. The ocean is my only landlord.'
Bayview Marina manager Dolores Cleat reviewed Mooring's account at a reporter's request. 'He pays $1,400 a month for the slip, $340 for power, $89 for Wi-Fi, and $45 for the cable package that includes HBO. He also uses our laundry facilities, our bathhouse, our pump-out service, and the marina lounge, where he watches football every Sunday. His relationship to the grid is, if anything, more intimate than most homeowners.'
Mooring disputed this characterization. 'The difference is philosophical. A house is permanent. A boat is freedom. At any moment, I could cast off these lines and sail into the open ocean.'
When asked when he last left the slip, Mooring paused. 'I motored to the fuel dock in September. For ice.'
Fellow liveaboard Carol Windlass, who lives on a 28-foot sloop two slips down, offered context. 'Jasper's boat hasn't left the marina in fourteen months. His hull is so fouled with barnacles it functions as an artificial reef. Two weeks ago, a marine biologist asked if she could study his waterline as part of her research on sessile invertebrate colonization.'
Mooring maintains that his lifestyle represents 'radical self-sufficiency' and is writing a book about it, tentatively titled 'Unmoored: A Life Beyond Convention.' He is writing it on his desktop computer, which is plugged into shore power.
AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.
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