Sailboat Race Committee Spends More Time Arguing About Handicap System Than Actual Racing

The Lakeside Sailing Club's popular Wednesday night race series has been suspended for the sixth consecutive week while the race committee debates whether a J/24 with a non-standard keel should receive a two-second-per-mile adjustment to its PHRF handicap rating. 'This is a matter of competitive integrity,' said committee chair Helen Spinnaker, who has convened eleven meetings on the subject since the dispute began. 'If we get the handicap wrong, every result for the season is tainted. We owe it to the fleet to be precise.' The fleet, which consists of fourteen boats ranging from a 20-foot daysailer to a 40-foot cruiser, has been sitting at their docks every Wednesday evening while their owners wait for the committee to reach a decision. 'I just want to go sailing on Wednesday nights,' said fleet member Doug Mainsheet. 'That's all I want. I don't care about handicaps. I don't care about time corrections. I want to sail around some buoys, drink some beer, and go home. Is that too much to ask?' The dispute centers on a 1983 J/24 owned by member Carl Foil, who replaced the boat's original fin keel with a slightly deeper one in 1997. The committee must determine whether this modification affects the boat's performance sufficiently to warrant a rating adjustment. 'Two seconds per mile over a six-mile course is twelve seconds,' argued committee member Gerald Rating. 'That could be the difference between first and second place. The integrity of Wednesday night beer can racing demands precision.' 'Nobody has ever won by twelve seconds,' countered Mainsheet. 'The margins are usually five to ten minutes because half the fleet is drinking beer during the race.' Foil, the owner of the disputed J/24, has offered to simply not race until the issue is resolved. The committee rejected this proposal, noting that 'his absence would distort the fleet's competitive balance.' The committee's next meeting is scheduled for Wednesday at 6 PM, the same time the race was supposed to start.