Yacht Club Commodore Impeached After Controversial Decision to Serve Canned Beer at Annual Regatta

The Commodore of the Windward Bay Yacht Club has been removed from office by an emergency vote of the membership after his decision to serve canned domestic beer at the club's 78th Annual Summer Regatta instead of the traditional open bar featuring premium spirits. 'This is not a tailgate,' declared past commodore Reginald Spinnaker III during the impeachment proceedings, his voice trembling. 'This is the Summer Regatta. My grandfather founded this event. He served gin and tonics from a crystal decanter on the foredeck of his Swan 48. And you want to hand people a Bud Light in a koozie?' The commodore, Harold Practicality, defended his decision on budgetary grounds. 'The bar tab last year was $14,000. For one afternoon. I thought we could redirect those funds toward dock maintenance. Two of our finger piers are literally sinking.' 'I would rather sink with a proper cocktail in my hand than float with a can of Busch,' responded Spinnaker, to sustained applause. The vote was 47-3 in favor of removal, with the three dissenting votes cast by Practicality himself, his wife, and a member who later admitted he 'pressed the wrong button.' The interim commodore, Vice Commodore Beatrice Mainbrace, has restored the open bar and commissioned a commemorative gin and tonic glass for the occasion. She has also approved an emergency assessment of $400 per member to cover both the bar and the sinking finger piers. Practicality, now the club's former commodore, has been observed at the public boat ramp two miles south, drinking a canned beer in quiet defiance. 'The finger piers are still sinking,' he noted. 'But at least the gin is flowing.'