City Renames Street to Honor Local Hero, Residents Immediately Forget New Name

The city of Riverton, Ohio, officially renamed Elm Street to 'Dr. Harriet Washington Corridor' eight months ago in honor of the late civil rights leader, and not a single resident of the street has adopted the new name, including members of Dr. Washington's own family. 'We call it Elm Street,' said Dr. Washington's granddaughter, Patricia Washington, who lives at 24 Dr. Harriet Washington Corridor but whose Amazon packages are addressed to 24 Elm Street because 'the new name doesn't fit in the address line.' The renaming ceremony, attended by the mayor, city council, and approximately 200 residents, featured speeches praising Dr. Washington's contributions and the importance of honoring local heroes through civic nomenclature. New street signs were installed the following week. 'The signs are beautiful,' said resident Marcus Elm — no relation to the street. 'They're green with white lettering and they say Dr. Harriet Washington Corridor in very small font because the name is very long. But nobody reads them. We've been saying Elm Street for 80 years. That's a lot of neural pathways to rewire.' The U.S. Postal Service accepts both names. GPS systems have adopted the new name, causing confusion when navigation apps direct drivers to 'Dr. Harriet Washington Corridor' and drivers ask nearby pedestrians where that is. 'Someone stopped me last week and asked for Dr. Harriet Washington Corridor,' said resident Dorothy Lane. 'I said I've never heard of it. They showed me their GPS. It was pointing at my house. I live on Elm Street. Apparently I also live on Dr. Harriet Washington Corridor. I learn something new every day.' The city has proposed adding '(formerly Elm Street)' to the official signs, a compromise that toponymists have described as 'admitting defeat in the most bureaucratically graceful way possible.' 'We honored Dr. Washington,' said the mayor. 'The fact that nobody uses the name is a separate issue. The honor is in the sign, not in whether people read it.'