Entire Country of Georgia Tired of Explaining It Is Not the U.S. State

The government of Georgia — the South Caucasus nation with a 3,000-year history, a population of 3.7 million, and a UNESCO-listed tradition of polyphonic singing — has announced a $12 million international awareness campaign after a survey revealed that 68 percent of American respondents believed the country was 'the part of the South with the peaches.' 'We predate the state by approximately twenty-eight centuries,' said Georgian Deputy Minister of Tourism Nino Kartvelishvili, her voice betraying what translators described as 'accumulated exasperation.' 'We have our own alphabet. We invented wine. The state was named after King George II of England. We were named after Saint George. These are not the same George.' The campaign, titled 'Georgia: The Country,' will deploy advertisements in major U.S. airports featuring side-by-side comparisons of Tbilisi's medieval architecture and a Waffle House, with the tagline: 'One of these is in Georgia. The other is also in Georgia. Learn the difference.' The toponymic confusion has produced decades of logistical headaches. Georgian embassy staff report receiving an average of forty calls per month from Americans asking about Bulldogs football, peach cobbler recipes, and whether they need a passport to visit Savannah. 'We once received a shipment of college football merchandise addressed to the Georgian National Team,' said an embassy spokesperson. 'Our national sport is rugby.' The state of Georgia has not responded to the campaign, though its tourism board reportedly considered and rejected a counter-campaign titled 'Georgia: The One You Were Actually Thinking Of.'