Cartographer Discovers New Zealand Has Been Slightly to the Left This Entire Time

A routine geodetic recalibration has revealed that New Zealand has been plotted approximately 47 kilometers west of its actual position on virtually every world map published since 1893, a discovery that has sent shockwaves through the international cartographic community while leaving the general public almost entirely unmoved. 'It's been in the wrong spot for 130 years and nobody noticed,' said Dr. Meridia Isogon, the Auckland-based geodesist who identified the discrepancy. 'Which, honestly, is a bit hurtful if you're a New Zealander.' The error has been traced to a single survey conducted in 1893 by British cartographer Reginald Platt, who reportedly calibrated his theodolite after 'a rather generous lunch' at a Wellington pub. His field notes for that afternoon contain the entry: 'Longitude verified. Also discovered an excellent mutton pie.' The International Cartographic Association has convened an emergency summit to discuss remediation. Options range from updating all existing maps — estimated to cost $4.2 billion — to simply leaving New Zealand where it is on paper and 'hoping no one brings it up.' 'Moving a country on paper is not as simple as it sounds,' said ICA president Dr. Lars Projection. 'There are diplomatic implications. Tourism implications. Google Maps implications.' New Zealand's prime minister issued a brief statement: 'We know where we are. We've always known where we are. It's the maps that were confused.'