Tourist Visits Every Place Named 'Paris' in America, Reports That None of Them Are Like Paris

French tourist Christophe Arrondissement has completed a 27-stop tour of every municipality named Paris in the United States, concluding that none of them bear any resemblance to the French capital beyond 'the name and, in one case, a replica Eiffel Tower that someone has put a cowboy hat on.' 'I visited Paris, Texas,' Arrondissement began, consulting a journal that chronicles the entire trip. 'It has an Eiffel Tower. It is 65 feet tall, which is approximately one-fifth the height of the real one. Someone has placed a red cowboy hat on top of it. I stood there for a long time.' The tour, which covered 24 states over three months, revealed that American Parises share certain common characteristics: none have a Seine River, none have a Louvre, and all have at least one establishment that Arrondissement described as 'not a bistro.' 'Paris, Tennessee, has a fish fry restaurant,' he noted. 'Paris, Kentucky, has a Walmart. Paris, Maine, does not appear to have anything. I drove through it twice and missed it both times.' The largest American Paris, Paris, Texas (pop. 24,000), was described by Arrondissement as 'a fine American town with a pleasant downtown square that has absolutely nothing to do with France except the name and the Eiffel Tower with the hat.' Arrondissement was particularly struck by Paris, Idaho (pop. 547), which consists of 'a gas station, a church, and what I believe was a sheep.' When asked why it was named Paris, a local resident said: 'Somebody liked the name. That's how we name things here. We like a name, we use it. Don't need a reason.' Arrondissement has documented the trip in a book titled 'Twenty-Seven Parises and None of Them Mine,' which has been published in France to modest critical acclaim. 'Americans name their towns after places they admire but have no intention of replicating,' Arrondissement concluded. 'It is an act of toponymic optimism. Or possibly theft. I'm still deciding.'