Local Pigeon Elected Honorary Mayor After City Council Remains Unresponsive to Constituent Concerns (Mostly Breadcrumbs)

PLEASANTVILLE, OH – In a stunning upset that has sent ripples (or, more accurately, fluttering) through the Pleasantville political landscape, a common rock pigeon named Reginald has been declared Honorary Mayor. The move comes after months of increasingly desperate attempts by residents to gain the attention of the actual City Council, who, according to sources, have been locked in a heated debate over the optimal shade of beige for the new municipal parking garage. “Honestly, Reginald’s been more responsive,” stated Mildred McMillan, a 78-year-old resident and self-proclaimed ‘Pigeon Advocate.’ “I left a note tied to his leg about the potholes on Elm Street, and within *hours* he’d deposited a small twig in one. It’s symbolic, you know? More action than we’ve seen from Council in years.” Reginald’s platform, largely communicated through cooing and strategic droppings, focuses on increased public seed distribution, the abolition of bird netting, and a comprehensive review of the town’s statue-perching regulations. He’s already ruffled feathers (pun intended) by proposing a city-wide ban on scarecrows, deeming them “discriminatory and frankly, rude.” The City Council, when reached for comment, issued a statement reading: “We acknowledge the…situation. We are currently forming a committee to study the feasibility of a committee to study the implications of a pigeon holding an honorary position. Also, beige is a very versatile color.” Reginald, meanwhile, was unavailable for comment, reportedly engaged in a crucial negotiation with a squirrel over prime nut-burying territory. Sources say the squirrel is holding firm.