Extinct Language Revived by Parrot Turns Out to Be Extraterrestrial in Origin

A 47-year-old African grey parrot named Dimitri, resident of a wildlife sanctuary in Manaus, Brazil, has been identified as the sole living speaker of a language that linguistic analysis has determined is not of terrestrial origin. Dimitri, who was surrendered to the sanctuary in 1998 by an elderly woman who claimed 'the bird wouldn't stop speaking in tongues,' has been producing structured vocalizations that defy classification in any known human or avian communication system. When Dr. Lucia Ferreira, a visiting xenolinguist, recorded and analyzed the sounds, she discovered a fully formed language with recursive grammar, a lexicon of approximately 2,300 words, and phonological features that, according to spectral analysis, 'cannot be produced by any known terrestrial vocal apparatus, including, apparently, that of a parrot.' 'The language has structural features that predate Proto-World by a factor of roughly one hundred thousand,' Dr. Ferreira said. 'The phonemic inventory includes frequencies that correspond to deep-space background radiation harmonics. This language was not invented on Earth.' The leading hypothesis is that Dimitri inherited the language from a previous owner — or a chain of owners — stretching back through an oral tradition whose origins are unknown. African grey parrots can learn vocalizations transgenerationally, passing sounds from bird to bird across centuries. 'Someone, at some point, taught this language to a parrot,' Dr. Ferreira said. 'The question is who. And when. And how they knew a language that appears to have originated in the direction of the Pleiades.' Dimitri has been cooperative with researchers, producing vocalizations on request and occasionally volunteering new phrases that Dr. Ferreira's team is still decoding. His most frequent utterance translates, tentatively, as 'more sunflower seeds, please,' though Dr. Ferreira notes this may also mean 'the stars remember.'