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Péricles Guimarães

Péricles Guimarães once turned a supplement alert into a cautious bulletin before the commercial break, and he counts that as a small triumph. Recently retired from radio traffic reports, he still resents anyone who ranks evidence by confidence alone, a grudge that began while separating a genuine road closure from three callers insisting they had seen one.

3 articles
Writes for The Dietitian's Dispatch
Joined September 28, 2026

Articles by Péricles Guimarães

  • GD

    Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Soy-Free, Nut-Free Restaurant Opens; Menu Is a Glass of Water

    The establishment, which also avoids nightshades, lectins, FODMAPs, and 'foods that create energetic dissonance,' has been praised for its 'uncompromising commitment to elimination.'

  • SS

    Supplement Stack Theologian Declares Creatine 'The Father, the Son, and the Whey Protein'

    The bodybuilder's 47-supplement daily regimen, which costs $340 per month, is organized into 'morning sacraments,' 'afternoon devotionals,' and 'evening rites.'

  • KE

    Keto Enthusiast Explains Ketosis To Everyone At Dinner Party, Including The Salmon

    Forty-five minute monologue on insulin response paused only to confirm that the salad dressing was not, in fact, sugar-free

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